William S. Hart (director/lead)
Thomas H. Ince (writer)
Richard V. Spencer (author/writer)
Clifford Smith (lead/writer)
Enid Markey (lead)
Luke McVane is some geek that moves so slow you wonder what kind of “horse” this cowboy is really on. Wearing his virginity on his sleeve, he goes starry-eyed over the town floozy when she hoochie coochies for a saloon full of drunken cowboys. When Garcia takes her as private property, Luke remembers Broncho Billy And The Greaser and jumps at his chance to score nookie points. But, unlike Broncho Billy, this square flips his roscoe once too often, so the town figures the strange mad dog needs to be put down, and he ends up a lamster. Suddenly the nerd's looking less hero, more antihero - and this sleepy little flick turns out to be better than expected.
Note:
Roscoe 'Fatty' Arbuckle (director/lead)
Mabel Normand (lead)
Alice Davenport (lead)
Edgar Kennedy (lead)
Joe Bordeaux (lead)
Glen Cavender (lead)
Golden Gate Park (location)
Keystone (production)
If you've been wondering how many funny gags could be improvised around local park benches, this one's for you (Spoiler: Apparently, none). And where else can you view the funny side of wanton police brutality?
Roscoe 'Fatty' Arbuckle (director/lead)
Mabel Normand (director/lead)
San Francisco (location)
Keystone (production)
Beware: False advertising! This is actually an “educational” tour of the 1915 World's Fair, where the characters “Mabel and Fatty” do not appear at all. Instead, it only shows Miss Normand and Mr. Arbuckle (as celebrities, out of character) just sitting and pointing for less than a minute, and then visiting dignitaries and exhibits for a mere 5 minutes of this 17-minute Snoozeville. If you've already been duped by this, consider taking legal action against the evil Keystone conglomerate!
Roscoe 'Fatty' Arbuckle (director/lead)
Mabel Normand (lead)
Alice Davenport (lead)
Edgar Kennedy (lead)
Glen Cavender (lead)
Keystone (production)
Mostly looks like another product of the “Let's just go down to the park and roll the camera while we clown around” school of film-making. Highlight is use of a blackfaced stand-in for a role genuine black faces were not likely to be eager to be seen in.
Roscoe 'Fatty' Arbuckle (director/lead)
Edgar Kennedy (lead)
Joe Bordeaux (lead)
Harold Lloyd (lead)
Keystone (production)
Fatty cross-dresses again, this time as an heiress encountering mashers. Nothing happens. But the sign says “farce comedy”, so it seems I missed out twice.
Mack Sennett (director)
Mabel Normand (lead)
Alice Davenport (lead)
Frank Hayes (lead)
Mack Swain (lead)
Keystone (production)
Print in poor condition, so tough to figure out what's going on here. Only hints are three title cards in the first minute, one near midway, then no more until the punchline comes in the final title. Best I can tell: Mabel's finger gets a ring, so she thinks her man will be true. But a “cougar” got a big ol' butt...so Mabel says “I'm leaving you!”. Rubber leg dancing, blurred action inside cigarette smoke, closeups of dancing feet.
Reginald Barker (director)
Joseph August (cinematographer)
Thomas H. Ince (writer)
C. Gardner Sullivan (writer)
George Beban (lead)
Clara Williams (lead)
Leo Willis (lead)
When a film opens with someone reading a book titled the same as the film, slowly reading while puffing pipe...you know this film is in no big hurry. But if time is valued, skip to 17:26, where the story actually begins, and nothing will be missed. But it still doesn't move any faster, because this is D..R..A..M..A, where ultra-slow movements are the hallmark of reknown stage professionals. So if time is valued, skip this film entirely and nothing will be missed.
Mack Sennett (director/lead/producer)
Mabel Normand (lead)
Roscoe 'Fatty' Arbuckle (lead)
Joe Bordeaux (lead)
Keystone (production)
Please don't watch this - it's too long and painfully stupid, nothing more.
Roscoe 'Fatty' Arbuckle (director/lead)
Josephine Stevens (lead)
Phyllis Allen (lead)
Edgar Kennedy (lead)
Joe Bordeaux (lead)
Al St. John (lead)
Luke the Dog (lead)
Keystone Cops (lead)
Keystone (production)
Starts with a clever sketch that was reused two years later in an extended, and even funnier, form in The Rough House. Then moves on to a dull rework of the 1895 The Sprayer Sprayed, and we're forced to wait 7 minutes before the pup in the title appears and shows off his speed, agility, and acting skills. Midway in the film, with no lead-in or link, the Rescued By Rover adventure finally begins, and the star shines with his dope speed, jumps/climbing, and enthusiasm. No doubt about it: Luke was The Dog. In addition, we get “special” effects that add the cartoonish touch that later characterized the Comique works.
William S. Hart (director/lead)
Robert Doran (cinematographer)
Thomas H. Ince (writer)
J.G. Hawks (writer)
C. Gardner Sullivan (writer)
Clara Williams (lead)
John Davidson (lead)
When Hart's character rides up he's introduced as “reformed gunfighter” so we can relax: this ain't yet another one of Hart's No-More-Mister-Bad-Guy yarns. In its place, zoophilic fantasizers are treated to a stunningly explicit shot of big horse booty, center screen. Then, in a scene reminiscent of Broncho Billy And The Greaser (1914), he immediately gets in a rumble - even before he's flirted with the Big Butt that hangs out at the post offices of the cinematic Old West. All this has nothing to do with the story. Maybe it's just to let you know that the reformed gunfighter still can duke it out. But after the first four minutes of testosterone flow, he gets suited up and goes pussyfooting around Chicago, so you'll have to wait another 15 minutes before he gets a-rootin' and a-tootin'. But he's no Yosemite Sam: doesn't say a word until the last minute of the film!
Roscoe 'Fatty' Arbuckle (director/lead)
Norma Nichols (lead)
Edgar Kennedy (lead)
Louise Fazenda (lead)
Josef Swickard (lead)
Frank Hayes (lead)
Keystone Cops (lead)
Keystone 4-step Porch (location)
Keystone 5-step Porch (location)
Keystone (production)
Part One starts out with some routine mother-in-law bits but ends with strikingly dark comedy: a large man on an alcohol-fueled rampage threatening a small elderly woman is an unlikely source of humor. Part Two is an inversion of the standard invasion-call-rescue pattern made famous by a slew of Griffith films (and other Keystone parodies). But here the “invasion” is unwitting - as is the distress call - and the race to rescue is made by the wife to save the husband. It works as a clever parody, effectively using closeups, even though laughs are few.
William S. Hart (director/lead)
Robert Doran (cinematographer)
Thomas H. Ince (writer)
Richard V. Spencer (writer)
Leona Hutton (lead)
Hart again plays an outlaw gone soft-headed for a dame - this time, a mere flirty waitress at the OK-but-nothing-special Restaurant, who's somehow rolling in cash of dubiously unexplained source. Other than that hilarious drunken one-two sucker punch, not much here to interest anyone who's not already Hart-core.
William S. Hart (director/lead)
Robert Doran (cinematographer)
J.G. Hawks (writer)
Thomas H. Ince (writer)
Margaret Thompson (lead)
Louise Glaum (lead)
Herschel Mayall (lead)
Keno Bates, Sleazeball, runs a saloon. As every Hart movie has shown, saloon owners are despicable scumbags who run crooked gambling halls. When one of Keno's victims refuses to accept that he'd walked into Keno's trap, he lashes out in armed revenge to retrieve his money - just as the “hero” of Hart's The Silent Man (1917) does. Although both Keno and his henchman were armed, they offered no resistance (which would be considered legitimate self-defense), made no attempt to dissuade the man, and afterwards never notified the law.
Instead Keno Bates, Lyncher and his henchman set out after the money they'd swindled, and the hombre who had the gall to grab it back - despite knowing he was armed and desperate.
When Keno Bates, Murderer eyeballs a snapshot of his victim's sister, he warns his henchman to get ready to take their lying to a whole new level, as Keno Bates, Slimebucket starts scheming how to use the murder he just committed to bust a move on the dead man's sister.
Later, when the sister learns that she has been deceived, she reacts like her brother. First, she lashes out murderously against the innocent messenger - the only honest person in the whole flick, and the one who legitimately pulled a weapon in self-defense.
Then she lashes out in armed revenge against Keno Bates, Sucker, who has fallen for a wild vixen in sheep's clothing, who will bring into his life the hell that he rightly deserves, and the DNA that would eventually result in Norman Bates, Psycho.
Raoul Walsh (director/writer)
Carl Harbaugh (lead/writer)
Owen Frawley Kildare (author)
Rockliffe Fellowes (lead)
Anna Q. Nilsson (lead)
Fox (production)
Long introduction of no relevance, gangs but no crime, DA with no case, ship fire of no consequence, romance but no joy. Still, any flick where all cops are creeps can't be all bad. The filmcraft is impressive, despite the sappy story - as a one-reeler, minus the filler, could've been a killer. Plus, it's rare to see a murderer go unpunished. And this particular restoration is worth watching just for its beautifully sick music.
Cecil B. DeMille (director/producer)
Alvin Wyckoff (cinematographer)
William C. deMille (writer)
Prosper Mérimée (author)
Geraldine Farrar (lead)
Wallace Reid (lead)
Pedro de Cordoba (lead)
Jeanie Macpherson (lead)
Jesse L. Lasky Feature Play (production)
“Carmen For Dummies”, completely ditches character development. Instead of the tortured soul of Don José, we just get a handsome-but-lifeless-turned-pissed-off Don Juan. Instead of marveling at the fiery young willful beauty of Carmen, we're left to assume that all the young dudes have the hots for an ordinary-looking 33-year-old (who looks over 40) simply because she's the only dame in town putting out. In place of character, we get extended realistic fight scenes - better than the average Western or swashbuckler. In short, a Carmen suitable for an American audience.
Louis Feuillade (director/writer)
Manichoux (cinematographer)
Édouard Mathé (lead)
Fernand Herrmann (lead)
Frédéric Moriss (lead)
Germaine Rouer (lead)
Jean Aymé (lead)
Louise Lagrange (lead)
Louis Leubas (lead)
Marcel Lévesque (lead)
Musidora (lead)
Paula Maxa (lead)
Stacia Napierkowska (lead)
Gaumont (production)
Les Vampires is Paris' most infamous criminal gang - a gang led by a succession of Wile E. Coyotes who are forever concocting over-ingenious fails. As a result, it's a gang that seems to make no money, that just hangs out gangster partying. Therefore, it's up to de facto leader Irma Vep to get the job done right - which earns her the title of one of Cinema's Most Badass.
Cecil B. DeMille (director/producer)
Alvin Wyckoff (cinematographer)
Hector Turnbull (author/writer)
Jeanie Macpherson (writer)
Fannie Ward (lead)
Sessue Hayakawa (lead)
Jack Dean (lead)
James Neill (lead)
Jesse L. Lasky Feature Play (production)
Stone-cold yellow man burns hot for white flesh of loose lady. Interracial dating, theft, lies, flesh-peddling, brutal sadism, revenge, blood splatter, lynch mob, and the slickest eyebrow in showbiz - welcome to Pulp Paradise.
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