"Who the hell wants to hear actors talk?" -- Harry Warner, of Warner Bros. (1926) The Teddy Bears Porter still has not discovered the value of a closeup shot, and once again demonstrates his talent for transforming a 5-minute yarn into a 14-minute yawn. Here, The Three Bears meet Teddy Roosevelt and discover not only that he doesn't bother to speak, but he's also traded in his big stick for a big gun. Naive to standard imperialist tactics, they realize only too late that Goldilocks was merely a pretext for wholesale slaughter and plunder. A fun watch for the kids.